Bitchitus

By The Unembodied Voice of Reason (cheeze_weasel@yahoo.com) for the Forumites bloodline

* Skull of Steel

The Forumite's skull has become so thick that it is almost impenetrable, which infers 3 levels of auto-soak to attacks targeted at the head, or allowing the Forumite a head butt at Str +3 bashing damage.

** Invoke the Vocabulary

Forumites are prone towards drawn out and quite intellectual sounding posts or flames. This power helps enforce that pseudo-intellectualism, allowing perfect spelling, and a greatly increased vocabulary and writing skill, to impress other Forumites and chatters.

*** Flame

With such an aptitude towards spouting such flames online, it has began to allow a physical presence, as such when a Forumite begins to spew his hot-headed rant on any particular subject, heat will build until a gout of flame will spew towards any unfortunate target of both the rant and the fire.

**** Troll's Frenzy

With a bit of effort, and an absurd and annoying post or rant, the Forumite can drive anyone viewing or listening to his words into a frenzy, almost identical to the behavior of the Forumite himself.

***** Lobotomize

Something like Troll's Frenzy, this power sends the victim into a catatonic state, or even death, by constantly harping and bitching. With each wave of stupidity brought on by the Forumite, the mental capacity of the victim becomes clogged by the intellectual equivalent of bacon grease. Lucky victims have an aneurism, others lapse into a catatonic state for the rest of their lives or unlives.

There are no known Forumites below 8th generation, though it is rumored that there are powerful Forumites who were embraced during the beginning days of the modem and BBSes, who have been driven into a madness where they constant hurl their bullshit and asinine rants for weeks on end, causing all who listen to their claims into devoted followers and sheep-like slaves, until their brains can no longer support the mental smegma that clogs their minds and they become burnt out husks.