Hagbuttry

By Hagbutt (hagbutt@student.adelaide.edu.au)

The Concept of Hagbuttry

Hagbuttry is a little device for GMs who want to play Vampire, but want to make it a lot less dull and gothic. Give all PC's access to this and it will be fun. These Arts are cheaper to learn than Disciplines, but can only be learned when the game has begun. Listed here are 10 of the Arts of Hagbuttry up to Level 5 (or 6), and you can freely choose any of them. The 10 Arts are called:
1. The Larch: This is the Art of Demon Happenings.
2. Mestopheles: The Art of Broadway musicals & Bad TV shows.
3. Cha-chi: The Art of Cool Ninja Effects.
4. SACS: Superheroism And Contemporary Society.
5. Rubberman: My flexible friend.
6. Swank: The Art of Cool Spy Tricks. (Ender)
7. Yorick: The Art of Clowns and Slapstick.
8. Celeryity: The Art of Fresh Produce Manipulations. (Andy Lange)
9. Candyman: The Art of Biochemical Bliss
10. Yakity Yak: The Art of Talking Much and Saying Nothing

This discipline is available to all Clans as long as somebody teaches them how to do these things. However, for fully extensive knowledge, you must join Clan Tomato. This is easy and fun to do.

And now for descriptions of the Arts' powers.

The Larch

* Spin your head

With the expenditure of 1 blood point, you gain the ability to spin your head around a few times. If you expend 1 blood point and 1 Willpower point, you can cause someone elses' head to spin around a few times. Cool.

** Megapuke

This requires preparation. You must first consume copious amounts of food that looks foul when it is regurgitated. Then when you regurgitate this gunk, you can spend a bloodpoint and use your puke as a ranged weapon. It does no damage (unless you ate something poisonous or acidic) but stinks and makes the target look foul. Range equal to your Larch rating

*** The Evil Eye

To use the Evil Eye, you must have eye contact with the subject and a really sour look on your face. This adds a number of dice equal to your Larch rating to your Intimidation roll against that person. It costs 1 blood point to use.

**** Chucky

You can possess a dolly and make it do all sorts of horrible things. heh heh. It uses your stats, but all dice pools are at -1. It costs 2 willpower to enact this art. Roll your Larch rating (target 6) and the power will last for as many scenes as your successes. While controlling Chucky, your own dice pools are also at -2. Spend a Willpower point to do this.

***** Narnian Banishment

By spending 2 Willpower points and making an opposed roll of your Larch rating vs. the targets' Willpower, you can send the poor fucker to Narnia forever until he finds his way out.

Cha-chi

* Treejumper

At this level you are enabled to jump backwards into a tree, onto a wall or the roof of a house. You can do this as often as you like. Gee.

** Wowser

When attempting impossibly athletic ninja effects, this adds a number of dice equal to your Cha-chi rating to your Athletics roll to do things like running up along a pole which someone is holding, or to do miraculous jumps over the enemy and land on the other side. Spend a blood to gain this bonus until the scene is over.

*** Flying Ninja Kick

Allows you to make a ridiculously long distance flying kick, staying parallel with the ground over 3 meters multiplied your level of Cha-chi. Cost: 1 blood per use.

**** Flicker

You can practically teleport to another location within 10 feet, leaving only a blur behind you. This costs 1 blood for every use.

***** Flaming Fists of Doom

Spend 1 Willpower per round for this ability. All hand and foot damage you that you do this turn is aggravated. You may use this ability once per scene, and must have spent a round getting worked up. You can only do a number of Aggravated health levels equal to your Cha-Chi rating.

Mr. Mestopheles

* Brassy Voice

All Music roll difficulties are lowered by 1, and the character is able to dominate conversations by speaking loudly. I use this too often myself.

** Memories

Roll Intelligence+Music (6) when you hear a musical. A successful roll enables you to permanently memorize the words from that musical, and recall them at will. (In Game Terms, the Kindred using Hagbuttry is allowed to read sheet music when singing)

*** The Theme

You always have your own personal theme music follow you everywhere you go, and it changes depending on what you are doing. For example, if you were doing a romantic scene, all violins and stuff would start playing, or if you were in an action sequence, you might have the Mission Impossible music start: (Dan dan dan-dan, Dan dan dan-dan) Spend a Willpower point if you want other people to hear it, besides yourself. Most volume dials on stereos rate from 1 to 10. Your Mestopheles Rating dictates the volume.

**** Kismet

This will let an almost impossible result happen as long as it reasonably makes the plot more interesting. For example, Hagbutt has made a gamble with the local Sabbat leader that if he can pick all 4 aces out of a standard pack of cards without looking, the Sabbat will piss off. Hagbutt decides to plead "Kismet!!". Obviously, the cliched result would be Hagbutt drawing all 4 aces from the deck, because he's the Good Guy, so Kismet works. Of course, the Storyteller has the final say. Spend 2 Willpower to use Kismet.

***** New York, New York

When you start sing a song from a musical, everybody else joins in and dances in the streets and knows the words. Spend a willpower point. Anyone wanting to resist must successfully roll 2 successes on their Willpower vs the players' Mestopheles+Charisma.

Superheroism and Contemporary Society (SACS)

* Visual Soundeffects

For free, when you are in combat and you score a hit, then your hit will appear as a `POW' or `SMACK; or `KAPOWIE', or if its a gun, `RAT-TAT-TAT', or `BANG'. This costs nothing to use. Uses: No useful ones, but its cool to be able to do.

** Car Call

At this level, all you have to do is press a button, or say a command word, and your own special vehicle will appear out of nowhere, for you to drive away in. The summoner must be the only one that drives this car; everyone else would have to go and fetch it. It's great when you can't find a parking spot. Uses: "Quick! To the Buttmobile!!!"

*** Dramatic Entrance

Any non-standard entrance you make (eg. through the skylight, out of a birthday cake) you gain a number of dice equal to your SACS rating to the next action you take after your entry and look really cool doing it too. Wow.

**** Form of Superhero

All bullets fired at you will miss unless it suits the plot for them not to. Melee attacks work as normal, but with the `POW' type effects above. Uses: Charging the bad guys who are hiding behind boxes; escape the bad guys who are shooting at you. Aggravated damage from melee is turned to normal damage.

***** Masterly Deduction

Add a number of dice equal to your SACS rating to any roll involving the study of a clue. This power only works when the normal difficulty for the check would be 8 or above. Uses: You have the villains jacket, which mysteriously has exotic pollen on it of a sort only found next to the bad guys main hideout.

Rubberman

* Eraser

By wiping your hand over a typed or written document, you can erase the text from the page, by rolling your Perception+Rubberman(6) This doesn't work on computers. It does work on faxes however.

** Boing!

Whenever you take falling damage, ignore a number of health levels damage equal to your Rubberman rating, because you bounce. Of course, you may bounce into something nasty. Bad. Spend 2 blood points to activate this.

*** Bendybits

By spending a blood point & making a Dexterity + Rubberman roll, the character can escape from bonds, or get through a gap in metal bars. Difficulties range from 4 (get out of rope) to 10 (move through a hole in a sieve.) This costs 1 willpower point to use.

**** Rubberarms

You can use a melee or brawl attack as a Ranged attack by stretching a part of your body out so long that you can reach them. This costs 1 blood per round to use, and can only stretch for 10 feet multiplied by your level of Rubberman.

***** Form of the Michelin Man

You are immune to all blunt melee attacks & bullets and gain +1 Stamina & Charisma. Unfortunately, you also become white and bloated, and look like you're made of tires. All slashing attacks against you gain 2 extra damage dice. This form costs 3 blood and you can maintain it for a number of rounds equal to your Rubberman rating.

Swank

(Thankyou Ender)

* Primping

No matter where you just were, if it was an incinerator, or an exploding nuclear sub, you still look as cool as ever when you get out, without a wrinkle. Wow. Cost: None, but you must roleplay it

** Newspaper of Hiding

All you need to do is grab a newspaper or magazine, and hold it up in front of your face. You will still be seen, but nobody will suspect you for being a spy, unless they are official guards, little kids or the like. Cost: 1 blood per scene.

*** Social Glide

Substitute your Swank for any Social Ability you don't have and probably aren't expected to know, eg. Dancing, Tea Rituals etc. Of course, if you don't have Etiquette, you're in the wrong line of work. This lasts for one scene and requires a Swank roll(6) to activate.

**** Endless Clip

With this wonderful ability, the Invoker's gun will never run out of bullets. Unfortunately, this only works on 6-shooters, shotguns (but you still have to make the motion), and most non-automatic weapons (Also works with bows, crossbows, but not Clubs or peashooters. Sorry.) Cost: 1 Blood when first invoked, lasts for your Swank level worth of Scenes.

***** Toys

This is the ultimate of Swank. He must have access to a person who looks crazy and scientific to get these gadgets from. Some suggestions are a pen that fires bullets, laser beam shoelaces and a flying Ferrari (isn't that an acrobat?). Anything that isn't truly game destructive is OK. Before the Game starts however, any nifty devices should be requested of the Storyteller, so they can have due warning of your Hagbuttry.

An extra use of this power is to give you a magical gadget without prior Storyteller approval, when you really need it. "Oh shit, we're surrounded by 10,000 Garou who want to kill us. Aha! I'll get my secret vial of Garouaway off of my utility belt, and apply it immediately." This is subject to ST approval when you pull it off however, and you have to spend 3 Willpower to do this.

Yorick

(Alas, alas)

* Skin of Jester

By merely making sure that noone is watching you, you can change form your normal clothes into your Clown suit (and vice versa) instantly! Cost: None

** Screw-up

When you botch, you can use this ability to make it not dangerous, but incredibly funny, with you as the fall guy. Subject to ST approval, of course (He might want you to die).

*** Pie Inna Face

You can summon Cream Pies. Spend 1 blood, and roll your Yorick Rating(3). Number of pies is equal to successes. (To throw it, Dex+Athletics is recommended) Any not thrown disappear at the end of the Scene.

**** Phonebooth

With this ability, the Yoricker can hide in a container less than 1/3 of his actual body mass. Wow! He can then come out afterwards, but will need to succeed at a Dexterity+Yorick(5-10) to stop from being stuck. The target nuber varies according to the size of the thing you want to get into. Cost: 1 Blood point per use.

***** StoogeFu

Pay 1 Willpower per scene to use your Yorick rating instead of your Brawl skill to do painful & funny attacks. Note: The Health Levels caused by these attacks work only to knock the victim out, not kill. Minuses still apply (Nose tweaks hurt!)

Celeryity

(Thankyou Andy)

* Brussel Sprout

Roll Stamina+Celeryity (6) to fill the room with the scent of Brussel Sprout. This can cause +1 to all difficulties within the area as the foul stench overwhelms the senses. If anyone uses Heightened Senses in the area, they will suffer a +3 to difficulties. This lasts one scene, and you must spend 2 blood to activate it.

** Popcorn

All you need is an ear of corn. Then you need to roll your Celeryity (8) to cause the corn on this ear to explode into popcorn and spread around the room. A loud bang is caused when this is activated, so again, people with Heightened Senses will suffer the consequences (GM Call).

*** Tomato Bomb

Throw a tomato. It will explode like a grenade. Assume that it does Celeryity - 2 damage (soakable). However, if soaked, it still makes one hell of a mess. (Roll Dex+Athletics to hit)

**** Tears of the Onion

Roll Stamina+Celeryity (6) to fill the room with Onion scent. This works the same as with Brussel Sprout, except everyone will find their eyes watering, and Undead status is irrelevant. This will cause the modifiers seen under brussel Sprout. You must spend 1 blood to activate this.

***** Form of the Killer Tomato

You need a tomato for this. Essentially, with this power, you merge with the tomato, creating A Giant Tomatoish human. In this form you gain +1 Strength, +1 Stamina & +1 Wits. You also look like a killer tomato. This form costs 2 blood for one scene, and needs a Celeryity roll (7) to activate. Happy.

Candyman

(A mars a day)

* Candy Tolerance

You can now eat candy without ill effect.

** Hard Candy

You can make hallucination causing candy by getting some normal candy, and making a Candyman (7) roll. The number of successes equals the number of candy pieces you can alter.

*** Candy Cane

At any time, by rolling your Candyman(5) you can summon a giant Candy Cane as a melee weapon. This has a difficulty of 6 to use but does Candyman+2 damage. Wow. Spend 1 willpower to summon it.

**** Blood Candy

You can turn Blood Points into Rock Candy. You must spend 1 willpower to activate this, and can then turn as many Blood points from your blood pool into chunks of rock candy as you like. This candy works as normal for the purposes of the blood bond, and tastes nice Great for making Little Kid Ghouls.

***** Form of the Gingerbread Man

Spend 2 blood, and for the rest of the scene gain +3 dice to all dodging and running dice pools. To activate you need to say out loud, "You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man". Unfortunately, you take on the appearance of a Gingerbread Man, and all bite attacks get 3 extra damage dice.

****** Summon the CandyMan

By rolling your Candyman(10) you can attempt to summon the Candyman himself. You also have to say Candyman 5 times. But this is one roll you really don't want to botch. GM decides Candyman's stats (They're pretty deadly. Be creative). He will stay for one scene and you must spend 2 blood and 1 willpower to summon him. Ouch.

Yakity Yak

(don't come back)

Inspired by Jason Miller

* Silver Tongue

Add 2 dice to all Social actions involving lying through your teeth.

** Pompous Blast

Substitute your Yakity Yak score for your Leadership score for a scene. You must speak loudly and clearly, but can say almost anything, as long as it doesn't mean anything. Great for politicians. Only usable when making a speech and wearing a suit.

*** Linguisti

Roll your Yakity Yak (9). If successful, you can understand a language or slang you don't know and converse in it too. Spend one blood to activate this.

**** Blinding Science

By rolling your Cha+Science vs. Target's Willpower, you can refer to something in such a technical & specialized manner that he won't have the foggiest idea of what the hell you're talking about. He can spend 2 willpower to break out of this and understand what you're saying though. Anyone that disagrees with you when you use this power will generally look like an idiot. Great for Toreador Socials.

***** Cold Logic

By rolling your Manipulation+YakityYak vs. the target's Willpower, you can cause her to stop what she's doing and think about her actions. This is great for breaking people out of Dominate or a trance.

How to Learn Hagbuttry

New Art

9 xp

Art

5 times the current level

Malkavians learn all of these arts for 2 experience point less, Clan Tomato members learn them for 3 experience points less.

Which Clans for Which Arts???

Assamite: Cha-chi, Swank

Brujah: SACS, Cha-chi, Candyman

Gangrel: Maaaybe Cha-chi or SACS.

Giovanni: None, they're the straight man of Vampire.

Malkavian: All of them, stupid.

Nosferatu: Cha-chi, Rubberman, The Larch

Ravnos: Rubberman, Mr. Mestopheles, Maybe Cha-chi, Swank or Yakity Yak

Setites: Cha-chi, The Larch, maybe Mr. Mestopheles, Swank

Toreador: Mr. Mestopheles, Swank, Yakity Yak

Tremere: Maybe The Larch, if pushed.

Ventrue: Yakity Yak, and maybe Mr. Mestopheles Possible SACS

Lasombra: Definitely Cha-chi & Swank. Maybe SACS or Yakity Yak?

Tzimisce: Rubberman, The Larch.

If you have any more bits for Hagbuttry that you think would go well, then mail them to me at hagbutt@smug.student.adelaide.edu.au Thankyou, I hope this makes your Vampire games much more amusing. And join the bloody Malkavian mailing list while you're at it yer fools. And go to the malk homepage. And all that other stuff.

-hagbutt

All Hail

Vague contributors (witting and unwitting)

hagbutt (hagbutt@smug.student.adelaide.edu.au
Ender (ender@whidbey.net)
Jason Miller (millers@teleport.com) unwitting
Andy Lange (Larry_Ottman@msn.com)