How Magick Really Works

By Steven Markley (smarkley@ocean.otr.usm.edu)

Introduction

Mage: The Ascension is wrong. True Magick isn't about Knowledge of the universe or all that crap.

Magick is about lying to God and getting Him to believe it.

See, when a mage uses Magick, she is saying, "Yes, God, I can indeed fly!" or, "Yes, God, I can turn that vampire into a lawn chair!" or whatever. The lies are telepathic, of course, because God can read thoughts (though members of the Order of Hermes will lie out loud in strange tongues). Don't listen to what a mage tells you about Magick-- he'll only lie to you, because that's what they do.

Sure Stevil, whatever. So how does this theory account for Arete and spheres?

Each level of Arete is actully a hyped-up version of subterfuge, where the mage has a better general understanding of how to lie, while Sphere ratings are specialized lores -- if someoone has a great understanding of Life and Matter, she can lie much more convincingly about those subjects, allowing her to use Magick! Understand? Good.

Hmm, okay . . . . Explain Paradox and Vulgar vs. Coincidental Magick then

God was pretty stupid at first (such as "cursing" Caine with immortality and infinite power... curse me God, why don'cha?!) Mages could lie, and He'd believe just about anything, so they could get away with a lot. However, God has gotten smarter over time. He began to wise up to all these damned lying mages, and started punishing those that told lies that were too big, like telling Him that they could turn into flaming dinosuars or whatever. He began giving out Demerits (known among mages as Paradox, wink-wink, nudge-nudge). Mages had to become smart to avoid gaining Demerits, and have become more subtle with lying.

See, there are White Lies and Bald-Faced Lies. A White Lie is telling God something within the realms of believability. Examples: "Hey God, that man seems to be having a heart attack!"; "Hmm, a boost of adrenalin seems to be giving me a little extra strength. Cool, huh God?"; "Wow God, that HIT Mark just malfunctioned, must have been out of warranty!" White Lies are punishible, but God generally won't give too many Demerits for them. Now, Bald-Faced Lies are things that God won't believe period, like: "I can summon lightning bolts from my fingerstips!"; or "I can call forth Tiamat the seven-headed chromatic dragon in the middle of Brooklyn!" Things like this will earn you lots of Demerits from God.

And Magick with Witnesses? Without?

People don't like to be lied to. When they see some guy let loose a fireball at a cyborg, they know all this must be bullshit. That's why the offending mage tends to blow up, and the cyborg gets sick and dies unless he gets around other liars who believe in him, and can thus convince God of the valitity of his existence: "Well, God, the numbers I ran though the computer says this guy can have a metal arm. You're gonna argue with a computer?"

I guess you're going to tell us that what we call Paradox backlashes are really punishments from God?

Exactamundo! I knew you'd catch on! Sometimes, a mage lies so badly that God will get fed up with her and smite her with the Divine Smack-Down, inflicting damage and other bad effects. A mage can avoid this with Self-Degradation -- she can bribe God into removing some of the Demerits by adopting humiliating and inconvenient characteristics (Paradox Flaws). God has a sense of humor, and is willing to remove Demerits for the opportunity to see mages talk backwards, grow hair in reverse until they are bald, or drip flourescent snot from their noses.

Why the need for Traditions, Conventions and other mage divisions?

Well, mages begin to believe their own lies after a while. Some part of them really thinks time machines work, the movie Terminator is reality, and smoking pot allows spirit-travel. Like-minded liars will get together and form their own clubs, so they can throw parties and snub the other clubs. The Hollow Ones are no different in this respect; they group so they can all chain-smoke clove cigarettes, wear black, look depressed, and bitch, whine and moan about how dark and Angst-ridden everything is. The Cult of Ecstacy was formed because no one wants to get stoned by themselves. No one likes computer geeks but other computer geeks, so thus the Virtual Adepts were formed. Nephandi take the saying, "When a man lies, he murders some part of the world" very literally, and this tends to happen when they use Magick. You get the idea by now, I'm sure.

Quintessence?

Quintessence is leftover bits of creation that God forgot about and left lying around (remember, he was stupid). If you turn one in, he's grateful, and will overlook your little fibs. Like a finder's fee.