By Abe Dashiell
"Shit! Wouldn't you know it!" Lenny fumbled with his umbrella as a gust of wind nearly tore it out of his grasp. The driving rain cut into him, scouring his drenched clothes and numbing his already freezing hands. He pulled his coat tighter, but it offered no solace from the cold, wet night. Laden with water, it clung to him, dragging at his flagging strength. He gritted his teeth to stop the chattering, but his body tremored still and his coat seemed even heavier. The wind roared again, ripping the umbrella out of his hands. It tumbled and skittered down the sidewalk, coming to rest, unseen, in the shadows between the widely spaced street lights.
Lenny stared after it mournfully and heaved a resigned sigh. It had been a bad night from the start and it certainly wasn't getting any better...
"...Don't worry, Lenny. You're still a young man. I'm sure you'll find something somewhere else. Downsizing and cutbacks, that's all..."
What a great way to start your day, Lenny thought, rubbing his temples, trying to quell the raging headache that drowned out even the thunder. Why couldn't he have just said, "Lenny, you're fired," and get it over with. But no...
"...In fact, I think I have something right up your alley. I'm sure a man of your skills would have no difficulty fitting the bill..."
A moment of hope, Lenny thought to himself bitterly. That was until old Barnes admitted that his fantasy job was actually a position as bag boy at his brother-in-law's grocery store. "Thanks, Mr. Barnes. I'll be sure to check it out."
"Don't wait too long, Lenny. Jobs like that go pretty quickly you know..."
"So much for five years of loyalty." Lenny murmured. "I should have known something like this would happen eventually. Nothing good ever happens for very long." He gazed up into the black sky, ignoring the rain, and shrugged. "I suppose I had it good for too long. At least I don't have to worry about it getting any worse -- my life couldn't possibly get any more miserable."
"Worst!? There's no such thing as 'worst.'"
Lenny spun around, his eyes darting to the shadows. "Who's there! Who said that?" His only answer was the low moan of the wind. He looked up the street where, six long blocks away, his car rested -- and rusted. His engine had chosen to die in one of the worst neighborhoods in the city, where neither the taxis or even the police ventured. He'd had little choice but to walk. "Why didn't I at least remember to bring my flashlight!" Until now, he hadn't seen or heard anyone.
"No surprise in this weather. I'm probably the only one stupid and unlucky enough to be out in this." But he was sure he'd heard a voice... "I must be delerious."
The rain came down even harder and Lennie decided he wanted his umbrella back after all. "It couldn't have gone too far -- in those shadows over there, I think." But there was something about that inky darkness he didn't like. It almost seemed...
"Solid." he whispered. "Like black Jell-O. Yum. Penzoil flavored." He chuckled weakly, and behind his eyes stabs of fear joined the hammering pain. "Is anyone there?" He picked up a piece of rubble and lobbed it into the darkness.
Thunk.
"Weird. Pretty muffled -- must be the rain." Yes, the rain, it has to be the rain, he thought. After all, who would be out on a night like tonight.
Please, please, please, be the rain...
"It's not the rain."
Lenny jumped back and staggered into the nearest light pole. He grabbed a brick that had fallen off a mouldering building. "Who's there!" he gasped, brandishing his crumbling weapon. The fear-pain in his head rumbled louder. Sounded like it was right behind me!
"Or within you."
Unable to control his fear any longer, he took off in a dead run. He looked over his shoulder, and to his horror, three figures stepped out of the Dark Place and began to pursue him. Two were man-sized, but they were anything but human. Their eyes burned bright red and they moved faster than anyone had a right to. The third form was something out of a nightmare. Standing head and shoulders above the other two, it bore no semblance to anything human. Lenny gasped in terror as it ran through the glow of a street light. It was huge and except for scraggly patches of greenish fur, it was hairless. It loped faster even than it's comrades, partially on two feet, but often on all four.
Deep within his psyche, a memory far older than Lenny stirred. TERROR! Images of lupine beasts killing...culling. He was overwhelmed with the fear of the hunted; he was the prey breathing its last as the predator closed its jaws around his throat.
"It just got worse."
The voice seared through Lenny's terror and for the first time, he recognized it. A part of him buried even deeper than the memories of the Impergium flared into life, awakening from a deep sleep. In that millisecond, everything became clear to Lenny. Possibilities he'd never imagined sprung into life even as the three monsters bore down on him. The terror inspired in him dwindled compared to the crushing knowledge revealed to him. He still felt burning fear, but now thought was possible.
"For every good thing, something bad has to happen." Lenny mumbled, his eyes searching. Before him, on the sidewalk was a rusty grate. Above the thunder and driving rain, he could hear another, deeper rumbling. The subway! "Too bad I'm not at the station instead of here. Knowing my luck, I'll fall right through that gate and be crushed by the --"
With a groaning crash, the grate gave way. Before he had a chance to scream, Lenny fell through the grate and landed on the last car of the subway. Only his quick wits saved him from being swept off the side and crushed under the wheels. Hanging tightly onto a rung, he managed to pull himself into the car through a broken window. Looking back into the darkness, he saw two pairs of red eyes fading into the distance. He smiled weakly as he heard the bone chilling chords of an enraged howl.
As the adrenaline rush faded, Lenny gasped and sank to the subway floor. He was bleeding from scores of minor wounds and he was sure he'd broken his arm. He leaned back and whispered, "'If anything can go wrong, it will.' It did and now -- I know."
I owe Leonard ("Lenny") Jones, a respected member (if such is possible among a group of this kind!) of Murphy's Law, for the information he has provided. I have used his words verbatim whenever possible and have added a few of my own notes as well.
Gunther Kohl, Order of Hermes
"Variables won't. Constants aren't." - Osborn's Law
Excerpts from my interviews with Leonard Jones:
You Hermetics and the Choristers I've run into call us "Pessimists." Pessimists? I consider myself a realist. A pessimist always sees the bad in everything. On the other hand, I know that ultimately, everything is bad. Once you've realized that, you can be as optimistic as you want. It's not like most of us get depressed about it or anything...
The damned Hollow Ones call us Murphs. Cute. They've got the Cultists and the VAs calling us that too. Hell, they've got me saying it. Of course, the next thing you know, some wiseacre will start up with "Smurfs." Joy.
"If anything can go wrong, it will." - Murphy's 1st Law
Jones, cont'd:
History? Well, we're not like you Hermetics, who, no offense, document everytime a member brushes his teeth. I suppose we've been around in one form or another for a long time. A friend of mine told me that Yeats was one of us -- all that gyre stuff of his has a bit of Murph to it. I have a feeling that was just wishful thinking. After all, Yeats was rich and successful -- that doesn't sound like any self-respecting Murph I know. You go for the fame and respect he had and you know you are going to be reincarnated as a cow, a Brady Kid or just get some really bad karma. That stuff will follow your Avatar around for centuries.
Oh, yeah, I was talking about our illustrious history. Well, as I said, there's always been people like us -- those who know how fate works and all. I imagine most of us thought we were orphans though and never really did anything about organizing. That was, until the end of the last century. We started clumping together -- I guess it was all part of that fin de siecle stuff that those sicko Victorians got into. Hah! Of course, we all know why the Victorians were crazy -- they were on top of the world, ruling the whole planet like they did. Well, fate has a way of getting back at that kind of arrogance. They're still paying for it you know -- I mean, look at Prince Charles.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, background. We've gotten more organized, though we don't have scheduled meetings and take minutes or anything like that. That's just inviting disaster; you know, the more you do, the more you do will go wrong. Well, sometimes we have meetings, but mostly we just shoot the breeze and keep an eye on the Technocracy and the Traditions. Yeah, we help them along -- throw a couple of monkeywrenches in their works. The Technocracy is a real easy target -- these guys are just begging for it...
...Where we get the name, "Murphy's Law?" We didn't think of it ourselves. It had something to do with you Hermetics though. Apparently you guys felt the need to classify us. You called us something in Latin that more or less translated as: "The Order of Those Who Believe The Worst Possibility In A Given Siutation Will Always Occur." In other words, "Murphy's Law." For a while it was the "Order of Murphy's Law," but that "order" part really didn't sit well with any of us.
"In Nature, Nothing is ever Right. Therefore, if everything is going Right... something is Wrong." - Murphy's 9th Law
Compiler's Notes: Murphy's Law is a loose knit group of mages who have found a common bond in the belief that the world is essentially a negative place. While this is a belief shared by a number of groups, notably the Hollow Ones, the Pessimists have raised it to the level of high metaphysics. "Bad things" happen because they are inevitable, because they are natural, and because they are totally unavoidable. In fact, when a good thing does happen to a 'Murph,' he bemoans his fate because he knows that very soon, reality will come crashing down on him.
Jones:
You know, I don't care if the Earth is composed of 4 or 104 elements. It doesn't matter if we orbit the sun or the sun orbits us. The little details the traditions and the technos quibble about really don't matter to us. The fact of the matter is that ever since we evolved up from the primordial ooze (or were created from the ooze if you're a Chorister), we've known that screw ups are the default state of being. You've really got to put your neck out to see anything beneficial. And then, you will get your head cut off.
The majority rules man. That means that whenever something good happens to you, the Collective Will gets jealous and wham!, you go from Easy Street to eating Alpo. It's unavoidable, so quit debating whether the glass is half empty or half full because the chances are, you'll just hit it with your elbow and get Coke in your Hush Puppies. That doesn't mean you can't be happy -- hell, being miserable about it won't change anything. You've just got to accept that for every good turn there's a bad -- but don't think the opposite is true. Misery loves company, so if you've hit the bottom, don't take it for granted that the only direction is up. There is no such thing as "worst."
Compiler's notes: Ascension is totally foreign to Murphy's Law. It simply doesn't play a role in their Paradigm. Their avatars are almost always Primordial, and they use their magick in a highly instinctive and often unconscious manner. This may be the reason why they are incapable of comprehending a state of being that exists beyond their rather narrow world view. Nevertheless, their single-minded obsession with the intricacies of their own Paradigm seems to allow them to transcend the normal bounds of sleeper reality. It is unfortunate that these Pessimists (for indeed they are, despite their claims to the contrary!) are forced to keep their Vision so fixated on the ground. Lenny is more informed than most, but even he lacks any grand vision.
"If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong and circumvent these, a fifth, unprepared for, will promptly develop." - Murphy's 4th Law
Compiler's notes: Because they do not go through an organized initiation, it is difficult for the Pessimists to develop as an organized group. However, because they are all consumed by the Paradigm, they tend to gravitate to one another. For much of their history, they had no organization at all, but around the turn of the century, when Apocalypse cults were in vogue, they began to find one another. They had been unrecognizable from Orphans, so unorthodox were their foci, but as they formed informal societies, it became clear that they were a tradition unto themselves.
They have not taken sides in the Ascension War and while their magick is pervasive, the odd way Paradox affects them allows them to conduct their business largely beneath the Technocracy's notice. At least in this respect, luck has favored them. However, neither have they fallen under the protection of the Council of Nine, leaving them vulnerable to the machinations of others, not the least being nephandi and the kindred.
They have little in the way of structure. Those who are older and more experienced, like Mr. Jones, are afforded greater respect, but they have nothing in the way of a structured hierarchy.
"Murphy was an optimist." - O'Toole
Jones:
Well, like I said, we don't have many meetings. Sometimes we'll get together and guzzle a few brewskies and brag about how bad our luck has been. Sometimes, though, especially when somebody has had a long streak of really good luck and has been especially uppity about it, we'll get together and figure out a way to give him a little humility. It's not that we are jealous of the lucky bastard -- well, we are, but that's not why we do what we do -- it's just that he's going to have to pay for it some day, and we might as well be the ones who do it. I mean, we'll put him through hell, but that's better than some things Ol' Mother Nature would do.
"Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself." - Weiler's Law
Compilers notes: A member is not initiated into Murphy's Law, but rather Awakens into it. Because there is no definable initiation process, most mages classify them as Orphans. Murphs, however, are not Orphans. Potential Murphs, as sleepers, are always extreme pessimists whose world views change very little when they become Awakened. Typically, the Awakening occurs after a series of extremely traumatizing and unrelated events. Most people would be driven to suicide, but for some, it merely confirms their opinions, opening them up to a broader world. While most mages awaken into a paradigm, Murphs are awakened by a paradigm.
Jones:
Well, I'd always believed that relying on luck would mean that all you'd get was a healthy dose of the bad variety. Just like I do now, I knew that Nature is a Bitch. However, it wasn't until two Sabbat licks and a BSD chased me down on the same night I lost my job, my girl, my car, and my umbrella, that I began to realize the full truth. I kept hearing this voice in my head egging me on to WAKE UP and finally I did. The little piece of the Collective Will within me knocked me on the head and I was finally able to take off my blinders. I'm not self-awakened. No, I'm no Orphan; it's reality that made me come to my senses, not my own twisted will.
"You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game." - Ginsberg's Theorems.
Jones:
We hang out with Sleepers who share our opinions all the time. In fact, some of them have such bad luck, you can't always tell who's Awake and who's not.
Compiler's notes: Their acolytes all remind me of that horrid man on that television show, "Married, With Children."
"Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse." - Murphy's 5th Law
Compiler's notes: Perhaps because they use the same "focus" for all of their spheres, Murphs typically have little understanding about the natures of the different spheres. Many are not even aware that there are different spheres. They do know that they are able to manipulate different aspects of reality better than others, but the significance of this is lost on most of them. Lenny, who is more knowledgeable than the rest, informs me that they have a particular talent for Entropy.
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability. - Gumperson's Law
Compiler's notes: What marks Murphy's Law as especially unusual is its interpretation of magick, and more importantly, the odd nature of its foci. As I mentioned before, they have only one focus, which they use for all nine spheres. As they become more enlightened, they may abandon this focus for those spheres they understand the most, though few of them do so.
Jones: Foci, eh? You're in luck that you asked me because most Murphs wouldn't have any idea what you were talking about. Most of us are Primordials, you see -- I'm the exception, being a Dynamic. When we work magick, its instinctive, like most Orphans. The thing is, we've got ourself a Paradigm, and we use it to make it easier to put reality the way it's supposed to be.
How do we do it? It's simple, really. All you have to do is to realize that for a good thing to happen, it has to be accompanied by a bad thing. That's just the way things work. It's like when those vampires and that big lupe were after my hide when I first Woke up. I heard the subway and I saw the grate. Subconsciously, I knew that if I fell through the grate and landed on the train as it passed, I'd have a chance to escape. So, I just happened to step on the grate just at the right point and with the right pressure to make it collapse and I had just the right timing to land on the last car as it rushed by. At the time, I had no idea what had happened, but now I know I jiggled with Entropy and Time to get what I needed. The thing is, I couldn't just do that because that would have been the biggest break of luck I'd ever had. So, I paid the price by breaking my arm, and because I'd fiddled with two spheres instead of just one, it also turned out that I lost my wallet on the way down. Do you know those damn licks ran up a $6000 bill on my American Express! Sounds like Paradox, eh? Now you see why so many people think we are just Orphans who are a little too rambunctious with the vulgar stuff...
...Yeah, normally the bad stuff has to happen to us personally -- it wouldn't be bad luck for me if I foisted some misfortune on a HIT Mark that was about to gun me down would it? There are exceptions though. If someone gets just too uppity, we can let him have it without bringing anything bad down on ourselves. That's because we are just setting things right to the Paradigm. What do I mean by "uppity." Well, let me give you an example. I went to Vegas last year and this son of a bitch was on one hell of a winning streak. In itself, that's okay; he'd just have to pay for it eventually. The thing is, the guy was yelling, "I can't lose. I'm on top of the world. Nothing can go wrong now!" Lets face it, he was asking for it. The magick just flowed -- nothing bad had to happen to me because he was being such a magnet. I can do the same thing when someone says something like, "It couldn't get worse," or "Well, at least it can only get better from here."
[System: For a Murph to work magick, she must simultaneously describe a misfortune that happens at the same time. The misfortune can be a cause of the effect, a side effect, a result or be completely unrelated to the effect. The severity of the misfortune is similar to the effects unleashed when one point of paradox is released. In fact, a Murph may opt to take a point of Paradox (or even take on the brunt of a backlash or suffer the visitations of a Paradox Spirit) as a misfortune. If a Murph is using more than one sphere, then another misfortune must occur or the first must be more serious (e.g. a five sphere effect could garner as much as 5 points of paradox if the Murph wished).
Alternately, a Murph can use another person as a focus if that person "invites" bad luck on herself. This happens either if the person proclaims a situation couldn't get worse or couldn't go wrong. Note that if a person merely has a string of good luck, the Murph can't use her as a focus -- only if she were to claim the luck wasn't going to end or something along those lines. Normally, an invitation will only replace the focus for one sphere, but particularly audacious claims can potentially replace the need for several spheres. e.g. the villain claims: "I'm am undefeatable! Nothing, nothing at all in the whole universe can stop me now! I'm a god! Fate herself bows to my every whim!" If a fool was stupid enough to stay that around a Murph, he should expect a Nine Sphere effect without the Murph reaping any of the misfortune.
In any case, while a Murph's focus is potentially damaging to her person, it cannot be taken away and there is no initiative penalty.]
"Nature always sides with the hidden flaw." - Murphy's 7th Law
Compiler's notes: Paradox affects the members of Murphy's Law just as much as it does any other mage. However, it manifests itself in a way somewhat similar to the way it affects the Trenchcoaters. (Another minor group who is a constant thorn in everyone's sides. Refer to my esteemed colleague's work on them for more background) All I can say about the matter is watch what you say around them, particularly when they are in the depths of Quiet.
Jones:
Most of us don't know anything about Paradox either really. It wasn't until I started hanging around you "real" mages that I even knew what the difference was between static and vulgar magick, or what paradox, foci and spheres were. For us, it all blends together. Sure, Paradox is a bad thing that affects all of us, but what's to differentiate it from all the other bad things that happen? It's just a little flashier.
When we've been being vulgar little boys and girls, or when we really screw up an effect, reality starts weighing down on us just like it does anyone who's Awake. That means that whenever somebody arounds us "invites" trouble on himself, well, reality is all the more likely to fix things. You look confused. Well, let me put it this way. If you'd won a million dollars and were riding high on the hog, you'd be a pretty happy MF, wouldn't you? In fact, you'd probably get a little careless and say something stupid like: "Gee, I guess everything is going to be peachy from now on!" Well, if I heard you say that, I'd still probably get you even if reality was giving me some breathing room. However, if it was sitting hard on my shoulder, well, I wouldn't have any choice but to lash out at you. It would use me as a channel to make your life a little less peachy. Of course, if I was a blithering idiot -- and if reality was really giving me the crunch, I probably would be in that state of mind -- and I said that, it would come back on me too.
[System: When a Murph has any paradox, and someone "invites" him as described above in the Foci section, the player immediately rolls as many dice as he has paradox points. Every success removes a point of paradox and goes toward an effect that affects the "offender." A botch means the effect works on the Murph. The nature of the effect is determined by the player, but is limited to what magickal effects he can normally accomplish. The effect must also cause a misfortune to occur to the "offender." This is the only way a Murph can remove Paradox, but note that a Murph can induce a release of paradox by "inviting" bad luck on himself. The ST may opt to decide the effect in this case and may invoke a backlash or summon paradox spirit.]
"It won't work" - Jenkinson's Law
Compiler's notes: Part of my interview with Mr. Jones was to discover how he felt about other Awakened beings. I had asked a number of other Pessimists before I found him, but I'm afraid that most of them were ignorant of supernatural society as a whole. Lenny, however, had a great many opinions, and he assures me that most of his comrades agree with him.
Ahl-i-Batin: They don't know anything about decay or chaos. They keep building their intricate little secrets and conspiracies, but haven't they realized that the more detailed a plan is, the more there is that can (and will!) go wrong. No wonder they lost their position in the 9.
"These masters of Entropy are only interested in seeing the world wither away. Though they are more tolerable than the Euthanatos, we will share none of our secrets with them." -- "John Smith"
Akashic Brotherhood: They want to attain the perfect balance between mind and body. Well, in every movie I've seen, just as you are about to achieve "Nirvana," the bad guy comes in, burns down your house, steals your girl and kills your old blind master. Maybe that's why most of the AB's I know have just settled for being able to kick ass really well.
"The negativity they see in the world is a product of their own minds. They have Awakened into a black box that has no opening." -- Allistair Kwok, Adept of Mind
Celestial Chorus: They keep telling us if we trust ourself in "The One," everything will be happiness and light. Hey, clue -- do you think we've forgotten the Dark Ages? Yeah, real enlightened -- give me the Technos any day."
"These lost children have bought into the Technocracy's lies more than any other. They may have abandoned all hope for a better place, but we shall not abandon them." -- Cardinal Shapiro, Master of Prime
Cult of Ecstasy: I'm not saying that World Peace and Brotherly Love are completely out of the realm of the possibility, but I know that it won't be as wonderful as they keep saying. Every turn has it's set of unsolveable problems.
"I dropped acid around one of these guys once and he says to me, 'You know, you're going to fry your brain doing that stuff.' I say to him, 'Hey, I never have bad trips!' I'll be damned if he didn't zap me with something and I had the worst trip ever. Made me give up drugs right then and there! Bastard." -- Hashcat, Disciple of Time
Dreamspeakers: While it is true that every lucky break is paid for by future misfortune, these guys are proof positive that the opposite does not necessarily occur. Were they ever on top?
"When these lost souls were born, Gaia wept for them." -- Black Cloud, Master of Spirit
Euthanatos: Talk about twisted. They are hotshot masters of Entropy, but you know what they use it for, to get rid of the "bad seeds" so that the world will be happier. Excuse me, is this the same Sphere we're using?!
"Their deplorable pessimism weighs down on this world. It is best that we recycle their avatars and hope they come back better the next time around. -- Dominic Gambino, Master of Entropy
Hollow Ones: What a bunch of whiners! Even though they know the world isn't a happy place, they still act bitter and disappointed about it. That's just the way things are! Get used to it, for crying out loud, you little Angst Babies!
I've got a story to tell you about the Hollow Ones. You know how 15, 20 years ago, they didn't even exist and then all of a sudden they are the biggest Orphan posse out there? I think I know why we are plagued by them, and much to my regret, it's all our fault:
Back in the mid seventies, I ran with ten other Murphs. Most of us were young and inexperienced but we had two masters who kept us in line. We even had our own node that we stole from a bunch of changelings. Things were really looking up, so naturally, something had to go wrong. We were minding our own business, chugging some brewskies and bitching about the price of gas when a bunch of Euthanatos swooped down on us. They told us that they were going to recycle our Avatars for the greater good. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I did know that it involved them making us dead. So, we fought like banshees -- very vulgar banshees -- and after a nasty pitched battle, managed to beat them off. When the smoke cleared, we still had our node, but the chantry, both physically and umbrally, was completely totaled. I lost everything except the clothes on my back, but I tell you, I was so riddled with paradox at that point, I really didn't give a shit. Instead, I sat down and had a philosophical discussion with the word, "this." It made sense at the time. We were all really Quiet at that point, but even in our state, we managed to whip up a keg or two of brew. After a while, not only were we in Quiet, we were pretty shitfaced as well. So, there we were, sitting around, watching the TV (that was about the only thing that survived -- we can probably thank the NWO for that one) when Jake -- he was a master of Spirit and Prime -- says: "Well, it sure can't get any worse than this." Whoah, Nelly! You can tell he was really out of it. The thing is, we all looked at him, lifted our glasses and said, "Yeah, it sure can't!" All of a sudden, wham, we weren't Quiet any more. The realization of what had just happened sobered us up but quick too. We'd been carrying around enough Paradox to fill the Grand Canyon and all of a sudden it was all gone. I tell you, I sure shit my pants. At first, nothing happened, then a week or two later, I noticed these whiny Awakened little brats hanging around in the Discos. A month or two later, there were more of them and inside of a year, a group of the bastards stole our node and set themselves up as the "Hollow Ones." We found out that they were doing it all over the country and I really think that we were to blame.
"Hey's, it's Al Bundy!" -- Jennifer, Disciple of Forces
Order of Hermes: No offense, Gunther, but the Order is just too tight-assed. I honestly don't think things would be any different if you guys were in control.
"Offense taken. When our 'friends' have an attitude like this, what hope do we have of regaining control of the Collective Will and guiding it to True Ascension." -- Gunther Kohl, Master of Forces
Sons of Ether: Oh, these megalomaniacs are really asking for it. I've foiled more than one plot for World Domination simply by walking into the same room as a blabbermouth Etherite. They make some pretty neat gizmos though.
"I am unstoppable! Bwa-hah-hah-hah! I am invincible! The World is mine! I -- *BOOM*" -- Heinrich von Kibble, Ex-Son of Ether
Verbena: You know, I think the Verbena may have figured a few things out. I mean, they are always slitting their wrists whenever they use magick...
"I don't understand them. They seem to think that by using the power of my blood that I'm somehow bringing misfortune onto myself. They are very strange. -- Robin Bashir, Adept of Life
Virtual Adepts: One little semi-colon out of place and the whole program crashes. Now, that is Murphy at work.
"*groan* I avoid them because everytime I see one, I immediately get bugs -- everywhere." -- Diane Kerfoot, Disciple of Correspondence
The Technocracy: Like I said, they are really asking for it. Their heads are bigger than the Hermetics', the Choristers' and the Etherites' combined.
"Directive 104-A.4: The mages known as Murphy's Law are very low priority for reprogramming. Correcting them causes more problems than it solves. -- 10110001, Iteration X
Vampires: Lessee, they are immortal, personally powerful and damned hard to kill. On the other hand, they melt in the sun and have to feed on blood to survive. Pretty even trade, I guess.
"Me and a couple buddies of mine were having fun with this mortal one night about twenty years ago when he pulled some sneaky mage magick on us and caught the subway the hard way. We got his wallet though! Man, that was one night on the town! Of course, a few years later, I had the rottenest luck with some of the stuff I bought. -- Raphie, City Gangrel
Werewolves: I used to wonder why they have it so bad, but then one of them told me about the Impergium. Now, it's pretty obvious.
"Mages in Horano -- but they do not despair. I avoid these odd ones." -- Sequoia, Child of Gaia
Wraiths: Poor bastards. You've got to respect someone who takes that much hard luck and still keeps going.
"They are tainted with Oblivion even as they live." -- Melanie Rivers, Heretic
Changelings: Blech! They are waging a feeble war to make the world happy again. Hey, it never was!"
"Wretched banal mages. Death to them all before they destroy us!" -- Count Cedric Bluetoes, House Eiluned
"Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in." -- Forsyth's Second Corollary to Murphy's Laws
For "Mage: The Ascension," by White Wolf Games Studios
Paradox effects inspired by Tim Toner's "Trenchcoaters."
http://www.chemie.fu-berlin.de/diverse/murphy/murphy2.html -- a keen web page with lots of Murphy's style quotes.