Path of Dastardly Villainy

By Mark Baxter (mbadger@es.co.nz)

Quote

"Bwahahahahahahahahaha! You mock me hero and yet now the cats on the other foot isn't it! Now that I have you safely wrapped up in my cunning trap I'll do nothing else but explain my diabolical scheme to you, if you care to look at the first overhead you will see..."

Nicknames

Spookes, DJ's (Dishonest John's) Batman bait etc.

Basic Beliefs

Being evil is easy,we can all do it if we put our minds to it but being evil and stylish is a challenge which we are glad to undertake! We laugh at those on the Path of Evil Revelations (not to their faces of cause) as any fool can summon a being from the outer dark but making an Auspex proof maze out of nothing but cheese: now there's a challenge for a real evil doer. Being evil is not enough in itself; every person and his genetically engineered DeathBeast (tm) can break into someone's Haven and kill her as she slumbers. Only a Dastardly villain would break into the Haven, kidnap the person's favourite Ghoul, leave a detailed map of where they are and finally trap the Vampire inside a maze made out of cheese guarded by clockwork iguana's! Only the best Dastardly villains manage to be defeated in a style of their choosing and return after much time has passed to reap untold revenge on all involved. Such do we all aspire to.

There are a number of basic differences between this Path and the Path of Evil Revelations. The PoER are famous for killing young children for components and standing on the top of mountains in a thunderstorm shouting things. While we are just as famous for the latter we would not even consider the former. The art of taking hostages and their release after our defeat is more our style. Also instead of making unfortunate pacts with beasts from beyond the pale we prefer to instead devise fiendishly cunning plots which are so complex and nebulus they often achieve artifical intelligence in their own right.

Ethics of the path

Do not fear the Final Death as only the good die young and evil is forever so we have a good chance of lasting a fair while. If at first you don't succeed build a larger catapult or use more electricity. As long as you look good you can never be truly defeated by the forces of Good (tm). Laugh in the face of danger, death, defeat, lunch, family members, members of the Senate, passersby and most of all street theater.

History

The Sabbat realised early in the century that they were training an army of thugs. To make use of the Camarilla's large numbers they decided to start a training programme designed around conditioning those Vampires most suited to doing Good deeds. By offering dastardly villains to fight the good fight against the Sabbat hoped to breed a stronger, smarter and more charismatic vampire out of their enemies. This way the Antediluvians would face not only the Sabbat but strength from within the Camarilla as well. Others just wanted a good laugh and this was a good chance of getting one.

Description of followers

As you can guess the Malkavian antitribu took to this Path like a baby to a cheese grater. The Tremere antitribu were close behind but often they fall into the trap of True Evil (tm), not Dastardly Villainy. More surprising is the large numbers of Assamite followers, both tribu and antitribu. These vampires are often found fighting Jackie Chan with their oversized fingernails and armies of badly trained ninjas.

Hierarchy of sins

10	Turning completely to the Dark side; don't make the mistake of those on the Path of Evil Revelations!
9	Not owning and know how to play a full sized pipe organ. Recordings are allowed for those isolated scenes which some rants can not be without.
8	Being defeated and not coming back, when able, to reap your wicked revenge.
7	Failure to resist frenzy. We spit and scream enough of the time ourselves with out doing it involutarily. Let the Beast make an appointment like everybody else.
6	Being captured or defeated and not having a foolproof fiendishly cunning escape plan ready for immediate use.
5	Not leaving an obvious escape from your diabolical Deathtrap (tm) for the hero once you happen to leave them alone for a few minutes.
4	Not explaining your entire foul plot to the hero once they have been captured. Leave nothing out and no lying!!!!!
3	Failing to 'ham' up the melodrama when appropriate or more importantly when inappropriate.
2	Failing to rant and/or rave about anything and everything when comfronting your adversary, or the neighbours.
1	Killing someone. Any fool can kill, remember the idea is to teach not rid the world of heroes. We'll use Genhenna to do that :)

Views about the other paths

The Path of Evil Perculations: Excellent people; with their fine brew I am able to spend twice as long designing Deathtraps (tm) than before. More importantly they won't catch me asleep if I never sleep can they, oh no they can't...

The Path of Rum and the Soul: Fools! Don't they realise that pleasure comes from having a really maniacal laugh and many deformed servants! Why this if I could only take the time out from trying for World Domination (tm) I'd show them a thing for two..."

Following the Path

This Path is very time consuming but well worth the effort. Students will have to watch many an old B-grade movie and often dive into the depths of those below such a heady acolade.

Common abilities

Act (melodrama), Science (but not too much), tailoring/sewing (those outlandish outfits don't grow on trees you know?), public speaking (rants, maniacal laugh) and finally street proformance (maniacal laugh and ranting) to name but a few.

Prefered Disciplines

Vicissitude : For making your hench people more suited to their 'role.'

Fortitude: For surviving your defeat or indeed your own creations.

Dark Thaumaturgy: For knowing how to outfit a laboratory properly and maybe just for the looks of some of those books.

Bio Thaumaturgy: For creating that Deathbeast (tm) you've always wanted; see the Alien trilogy and much Anime for further details.

Dementate: For seeing just how far you can push your hero before they crumble.

Obtenebration: The use of shadowplay can make the most innocent location eriery and forbodeing, adds much to the use of hyper-melodrama!

Hagbuttry: All the powers involved in this beauty can be used to further a Dastardly villains goals no end. A definite must for those who desire there own theme music and spotlight. The opportunities for absurd escape are overwhelming as well.

Special abilites

Following this Path allows the student a number of special abilities the first being Evil glint (tm).

The Evil glint (tm) can be considered a 'G' rated version of Dread gaze of Auspex fame. With the expenditure of a bloodpoint the Vampire may make his opponents shudder briefly in fear as the glint strikes them to the bone. The glint may be from the eyes or the teeth depending on the style of the Dastardly villain. For some strange reason this power also attracts women but go figure? More expenditure of blood can strip the paint off walls and cause flies to drop dead at a glance. Use of this power annoys the hell out of gypsies. A must for those wanting to make an impression.

Next is the maniacal laugh. The maniacal laugh can be used to great effect to inspire fear, announce your entry, show amusment, mock your enemy, change the television channel but it can't make you a coffee, by God I've tried but no. This power has to be learned and doesn't come naturally. You can try but it sort of sounds whiny and pathetic to the person you intend to impress. High levels of maniacal laugh can cause entire city blocks to shudder at your entrance.

Finlly comes the Dramatic pause. The Dramatic pause is a must for the dastardly villain as this allows the student to not only rant to his heart's content without being shot but also allows the student to make over powering gestures in wide sweeping motions without taking someones eye out, the heroes buggering off for lunch or getting shot. The Dramatic pause can also be used to allow you to curse the enemy with e.g. "The fleas from a thousand camels shall infest your underwear" and your escape without the enemy laughing at you, escaping themselves or you guessed: it shooting you.