Path of Discordia

By Sarah Trout (holychao@swbell.net) for the Disciples of Eris bloodline.

* Nagging Song

By spending a Blood Point and concentrating for several turns, the Erisian can cause a bit of some annoying song to become lodged in the target's mind. Commonly used songs are: "Peaches" by The Presidents of the United States of America, "Mairzy Doats," and the hands-down favorite, "The Name Game." The longer the user is able to concentrate, the more severe the nagging will be. One or two turns will merely dent the victim's concentration (-1 to all Alertness rolls), while an Erisian following a target around all night directing a few measures from "Peaches" at him will frustrate him to the point of frenzy (+3 difficulty to all frenzy rolls for the next 24 hours). Eris has been said to actually drive vampires and mortals alike to suicide. Storytellers are encouraged to take great liberties with the effects of this power (mwah hah hah).

The user does not need to maintain eye contact with the target, but must keep him in sight.

** Golden Apple

By spending one Blood Point, the Erisian can conjure a valuable gift of some sort to drop between two or more enemies who envy each other. Eris's namesake was attributed with the first use of this power when she wasn't invited to some function or another of the gods. She created a golden apple etched with the word "Kallisti" (To the most beautiful one) and rolled it down the aisle. Immediately, Athena, Aphrodite, and Artemis began fighting over it, each claiming it was meant for her, thus started the Trojan War.

The targets must already have some rivalry going before the Golden Apple can be used successfully. A good example would be a (fake) powerful talisman with a tag attached to it reading "To my most favored apprentice" and signed by a Tremere Regent, dropped between two competing apprentices of the same Regent. All targets must roll vs. Willpower (difficulty is the caster's Thaumaturgy+Manipulation) or immediately begin to bicker over the bauble. If there is but a grain of truth to the mythological example above, this can be an extremely powerful weapon!

*** Fnord Fnord Fnord

By concentrating for two turns, the user can warp the target's sense of hearing such that every third or fourth word he hears will register as "Fnord." For example, a target will hear "Run back to the Chantry and get help!" as "Fnord back to the Chantry and get Fnord!" Needless to say, this will confuse the target to the point where no action is possible -- except the wrong action.

No, nobody knows what the hell "fnord" means.

**** Murphy's Curse

The user can now cause anything and everything to go awry for a target for up to a week. All manner of bizarre and even cartoonish mishaps will befall the poor victim for the specified length of time (the price of a pack of cigarettes rung up on a UPC scanner will register as several hundred dollars, which the cashier will demand; flowerpots, small appliances, small dogs, etc., will fall from 20th-story windows on the target just as he is about to attack the caster [it is said that a large safe fell on and crushed a HIT Mark just as it was about to attack Eris a few years back]; target gets mugged by a Brujah; target's car gets stripped leaving nothing but a fender and the alarm lying on the pavement; etc.) If the target is already somewhat paranoid (Prince, Primogen, average Tremere), each mishap subtracts one die from his Dice Pool for the next 24 hours...for anything. Otherwise, each day of the curse subtracts one die for the next 24 hours.

The user must spend one Blood Point and one hour in concentration for every day she wants the Curse to last.

***** Holy Chao!

Thr user must grab and hold any part of the target's anatomy (!) for one turn and roll vs. Thaumaturgy+Manipulation (difficulty is the target's Willpower+Stamina). Each success infects the mind of the target with a bit of Discordian lore...permanently.

1	The target becomes obsessed with apples, particularly yellow ones.
2	He begins to dream about the symbol known as the Sacred Chao (similar to the yin-yang, except one half holds a pentagon while the other has a golden apple) and doodles it constantly.
3	He will become consumed with a desire to learn all he can about Eris (the goddess) and Chaos.
4	The target will become a sort of Discordian street preacher and may be mistaken for a Malkavian.
5	The entire Principia Discordia is downloaded into the target's brain.
6	The target becomes a model Discordian and is welcomed into the ranks of House Kallisti.
7	The target's blood is actually altered, transforming him into a Disciple of Eris. He loses all of the Disciplines of his former Clan except for those he may share with the caster. If he has three Disciplines and shares none of them with the caster, they change into the Erisian Disciplines. The points he had for his prior Disciplines carry over (if he had 4 points in Protean, 3 in Celerity, and 3 in Animalism, he will then have 4, 3, and 3 to put into Auspex, Obfuscate, and Thaumaturgy...his choice what goes where). He will not know any Thaumaturgy Paths yet. If the victim was a mage in life, he may (1 in 10 chance; roll one die) regain his ability to use mortal magick.
None	Nothing happens; the target is pissed off.
Botch	The caster picks up a Derangement of the Storyteller's choosing.