Ramentis

By Jesse Mayhew (Jesse_Mayhew@nmh.northfield.ma.us) and Ian Wilson (iwilson@ishmael.geecs.org)

Description

This discipline allows the Kindred complete mastery over the plane of Maruchan Ramen Noodles, and partially over the minds of some hungry college students.

Pronunciation

"Maru" and "Maruchan" should be pronounced as if talking about a popular Anime series by flipping the "r", when in fact it is just a bag of noodles. (A mean mofo bag of noodles!)

* Maruchan Boil

The Kindred can boil Ramen noodles at a rate of one bag per three minute period. If you are mixing any non-chicken flavor packet, you must possess the Knowledge "Ramen Lore."

** Maruchan Chop

The Kindred can throw Ramen packets at her opponent with deadly accuracy by acting like she is throwing a Hyuken fireball a la Street Fighter and screaming the words "Maruchan Chop!" (see pronunciation above) Ramen packets thrown with Maruchan Chop can not be Boiled. If you want to throw a non-chicken flavored packet, you must possess the Skill "Ramen Firearms."

System: Roll Dexterity+Firearms (Diff. target's dodge pool). # of successes equals # of packets thrown.

*** Maru Rain

The Kindred can rain fiery Ramen Noodle death upon her opponents. By summoning the very essence of sodium and dried noodles from the clouds, the Kindred releases a deadly stream of Ramen noodle packets on top of a single target area. If you want to rain any non-chicken flavored Ramen packets, you must possess the Knowledge "Ramen Meteorology."

System: Roll Intelligence+Hearth Lore.

Difficulty:

5	Cloudy day
6	Sticky weather, makes for sticky Ramen.
7	Sunny (Ramen cooks quickly and cannot be allowed to become mushy).
8	Wait a second, it's fucking nighttime.
9	OK, if you're in the sunlight, you must have Fortitude 10 to survive, so you shouldn't fucking need Ramentis.

Successes:

0	No Ramen for you!
1	$1 worth of Ramen rain, which is actually 10 or 11 packets of Ramen.
2	1 block of Ramen rains, uncooked.
3	Cooked ramen rains and traps targets in long, net-like strands.
4	Cooked ramen suffocates target for 1d10 turns.
5	Ramen burns victim for 1d10 damage.

**** Weaken The Collegiate Hunger

The Kindred can control the minds of hungry college students by the audacious consumption of yummy wholesome Maruchan Ramen Noodles. This power must be invoked by the power "Maruchan Boil," for if "Maru Rain" is used the targets could be obliterated. Upon target's consumption, the Kindred has control over the student equal to Dominate level 4. You can not give orders to endanger the student's further enjoyment of Ramen by giving the target a flavor such as "Chili" or "Mushroom Shrimp." If trying to weaken non-chicken flavored hunger, the Kindred must possess Vicissitude 3, Protean 5, and True Faith (you idiot).

System: Roll Manipulation + Academics (diff. target's Willpower). # of successes equals # of scenes that target is under control.

***** Cauldron of Ramen

With this power, the Kindred can cause digested Ramen within the target's intestinal wall to take on its True Form, a Were-Chicken. The Were-Chicken bursts through the chest cavity of the victim a la "Alien" and becomes a Homunculus-like servant of its creator, turning back into a bag of Ramen during each full moon. If Cauldron of Ramen is used on digested non-chicken flavored Ramen, the Kindred must possess the Ability "Acting."

System: Spend 1 Willpower point and roll Dexterity + Occult (diff. # of hours spent digesting). At least three successes must be gained to create the Were-Chicken, unless the target possesses the Merit "Iron Stomach Lining." Note: Characters wishing to create Weremushroomshrimp should consult "Rage Across Delaware: The Weremushroomshrimp Conspiracy" (a Year of the Ridiculous Werecreatures(tm) supplement).

****** Consumption of the Holy Body

At the apex of this Discipline, the Maruchan Master can actually eat as much Ramen as he or she desires. No rolls are necessary; however, if the Kindred wants to Consume a non-chicken flavored variety of Ramen, the Kindred must consult his or her Storyteller for such a horrific power. A Conscience roll may be in order, however; there are legends of particularly powerful Maruchan Masters and Nephandi mages who have been able to consume "Mushroom" and even "Bagel" flavored Ramen.