By Karen Kuhn (kkuhn@iastate.edu) (11 April 1995)
This is being posted pursuant to the relevant sections in the Endangered Species Act for the required 60 day public review process on the inclusion of the Spook bloodline on the list of endangered species. All comments should be addressed to the Environmental Perfection Agency, D.St.C. :)
Description: The subspecies Homo sanguineous spookiest, hereafter referred to as Spooks, is a subspecies of what are commonly referred to as vampires. They are generally thin, pale and highly nocturnal, and can be mistaken by untrained observers for members of the Homo sapiens species.
Habitat: Worldwide, although in widely scattered pockets. Fewer than 50 of this rare subspecies are believed to exist. Studies of their behavior in their natural environment is complicated by their lairs, called "safe houses", which generally have extremely good, if unobtrusive, security systems, numerous escape routes, and the Spook habit of immediately abandoning their safe house if disturbed. Requests to the CIA and FBI for assistance in observing these rare creatures was denied, leading some researchers to speculate on contacts between these creatures and the intelligence agencies. This is not the official position of the EPA.
Reproduction: Spooks appear to reproduce exclusively by embracing (q.v.) only those members of Homo sapiens who are exceedingly nosy (Investigation of at least 4). Identified former occupations are Spy, Reporter, Private Investigator, Policeman, Neighborhood Gossip, and Mother. All known members have high Stamina, theorized due to the habit of this subspecies to get bonked on the head, run over, blown up, shot, etc. Most are also quite good at such abilities as Alertness, Streetwise, Intimidation, Security and Stealth.
Social Organization: Spooks appear to be organized in tight cells, with much communication taking place by the use of blind drops, encrypted letters, and coded phrases in the personal ads. While no face-to-face meetings were observed by the researchers, due to the extreme precautions taken by the Spooks to avoid being followed, it is theorized that this paranoia extends to the actual meet, with many code phrases traded before the actual exchange of information. Unconfirmed reports indicate that the pecking order (known as Clan Prestige?) is gained by discovering conspiracies, with the more secret the information, the more prestige awarded. Lesser amounts are gained by how many sworn enemies a Spook has, and how many attempts on their unlife they have survived.
Known History: The origins of the Spook bloodline are obscure, although most believe it is a mutation of the Malkavian. The oldest known is Agent X (or possibly 6. It is unknown if s/he has a license to kill). Agent X is reported to be extremely forgettable in appearance, to wear a trenchcoat and sunglasses, to have several secret bank accounts in Switzerland, and to only talk in a mumble out of the corner of his/her mouth while staring fixedly away from the person. Malkavian informants state that this bloodline arose after the death of Lasombra (who knew what evil lurked in the hearts of men, but not apparently of vampires), since every culture has the need for a good gossip.
Identifying Characteristics: This bloodline appears to have an insatiable need to investigate the backgrounds of everyone they meet or hear about, and then repeat the information. They seem to have good memories (Merit: Eidetic Memory). None have ever been known to be able to tell, write or otherwise convey a lie.
This prohibition extends even if under the effects of Dominate, Entrancement, Blood Bonds, or similar mental control. Many also have the Derangements of Paranoid and Obsessed.
Clan Disciplines: Auspex, Obfuscate, and Verity.
Economic Importance: One Spook is said to be an Archon of the Malkavian Justiciar, who apparently uses the Spook to keep track of his multiple personalities plotting, and doesn't care if everyone else knows what's happening. Two of the more notorious members of the bloodline, Bernward and Woodstein, also publish the Nightly Enquirer, although all Spooks are suspected to contribute to it. It is reported that anarchs, Sabbat, Garou, Camarilla, magi, etc, are all avid readers of the Nightly Enquirer, although most would like to see the editors meet the final death, due to the embarassing revelation of things they thought were safely buried (and staked, decapitated, and with the ashes burned). The last issue of the Nightly Enquirer included these features (all later independently verified several times by trusted sources).
"And Now, the Rest of the Story....on Jack the Ripper"
"Photo Essay - And You Thought the Toreador were Degenerate! What Really Happens in the Tremere Chantry in Vienna!! (Warning: Mature Subject Content. Sire Discretion is Advised)"
"Demon Summoning by Sabbat Infernalists (Do not try this at home!)"
Cooking Section - Love Potion #9, from the kitchens of Madame Ruth
Popular Technology supplement "The latest test results of the '95 model HIT Marks, with a sneak preview on what's coming in '96!"
Drama in Real Unlife "I Survived the Black Spiral in Malfeas!"
Other than this, the only other economic importance of this is due to to rewards placed on the heads of most of the Spooks by various people and organizations.
Public Comments: "The truth shall make ye free" - Agent X, 5th generation Spook
"And also shot, stabbed, defenestrated, staked, run over, blown up, chased by demons, hunted by priests, and generally disliked. But hey, the public has a right to know" - Cub, 13th generation Spook
"Curses. Foiled again" - Boris, 9th generation Ventrue
"They should be staked and immersed in a tank full of hungry piranhas" - Black Opium, 10th generation Setite antitribu
"Their stories show the fundamental rottenness of both the Camarilla and the Sabbat, which is good. However, when they publish reports that a hero of the Revolution was lying when he said he destroyed the prince with his own hands, they reveal their true colors as running dog lackeys of the imperialist bourgeois system, and so must be destroyed for the sake of the Revolution!" - Dean James, Anarch
"Avoid them" - anonymous Inconnu
"If you find the safe house of a Spook, tell everyone you know free of charge where it is" - El-Sayyid, 7th generation Nosferatu
"While their expose of Pentex operations was valuable, all Leeches are of the Wyrm and must be destroyed for the sake of Gaia. (growl). Their baseless accusations that Chases Men and I had a metis offspring that we abandoned to the Bone Gnawers in New York City had nothing to do with my decision." - Wolf Whistles, Rank 4 Silver Fang Philodox
"I've got a little list, and I'm sure they won't be missed" - Katisha, Rank 5 Black Spiral Dancer Ahroun
"Wanted: Dead or Undead. Reward $$$$$$$" - Baron Gothchild, the $yndicate
"Lies, all lies. We are those who follow the dance of life, helping all who need us, harming none. We should turn the blood of those Spooks into boiling lead." - Anonymous Verbena
"Use these vampires if you really want to know who is responsible for your death. Just as long as you don't care what else is exposed about your life and death." - JFK, Wraith
"How else would we find out what's happening with Ti and the Royals back in Arcadia?" - Blackie, Changeling
View Verity discipline.