By hal@seas.smu.edu (26 March 1995)
Nate's WOD expansion thingee. Version 0.1
You wake up to total darkness. Something isn't right, but it isn't something you can put your finger on. Everything feels the same, smells the same, sounds the same, but it's different. There's something flatter about the world.
You brush the sheets aside, and stand. the floor feels the same, except that two dimensionalness all around you. You fumble through the darkness, for the light, and just as you readch it, a cry pierces the dilence of the night.
"D'oh! Bart!"
You turn to face the direction of the voice. Through the window, you see it...a hideous half man/half beast. It stands over five feet, and weighs over three hundred pounds, if he's an ounce, and has barely a hair on his body.
You turn away, and cover your eyes in disgust, feeling for the first time since you woke, your hand. Terrified, you slowly remove it from your face, and turn on the light.
It's yellow. Your skin is the color of the hideous beast in the house next door. Worse still, you're missing a finger! You turn to the mirror...your entire body is yellow! And you have an overbite! You are hideous! A monster, I tell you, a monster!
"D'oooooooooohhhhhhh!"
Welcome to Springfield.
Ok, I'm back. So, I really love TV. And, almost since it's inception, Simpsons has been among my list of `can't miss' shows (and that's really something, considering only three comedies are on my list, and two just made it this season). There's just something about Springfield and its dysfunctional inhabitants that amazes me. How could a whole town be so stupid? More importantly, are we really that stupid? I don't think so, but ya never know...
I also love World of Darkness, mainly for Mage and Mummy. I love it so much that I put up with 150 undigestable messages a day in my mailbox (I hate the fact that this list isn't available in digest). So, like peanut butter and chocolate, I set out to merge two of the things I love most, in a merger that will one day be almost as good as Twix! (Ok, I confess. First I tried to do WoD: Saved by the Bell, then Wod: Tick, then Wod: ER, then Wod Babylon5, then WoD: Forever Knight. This one just came out the best)
You can see from the version number that this is a very rough draft. I'd like to get feedback from you die hard gamers (and the rest of you), before I go any further, considering I have zilcho experience with creating new WoD stuff. Someday, maybe this will be really great, and I'll owe it all to youse guys. And me. All of us. And, I'll put a special thanks section at the end of future versions...
Anyway, enuff mindless rattling. Here we go with the rules, as they are now...remember, think feedback!
(All general WoD rules apply, including the golden one, unless contradicted below)
What is Springfield/The Simpsons? Well, so far as I can tell, from watching all 120ish episodes five times each, Springfield is one of three things: 1> A twisted amalgamation of every city in the USofA, and some from other countries; 2> Hell (but, I still think it's Hollywood); or 3> The Worst City in America (As stated in New Kid on the Block). Regardless, it is a festering heckhole of middle class life.
The Simpsons themselves seem to be a melting pot of the basic elements of the American family. You've got yer basic: dummy (Homer), downtrodden (Maggie), evil (stepsisters), senile (Grandpa), oppressed (Marge), smart (Lisa), and anarchist (Bart). On tv, it's amusing as all get out, but when you're living it, it becomes a nightmarish...thing. Which brings us to the second question:
Is Simpsons really World of Darknessish? Sure, but only if your storyteller makes it so. There's plenty of potential for grim and gritty in Springfield. Think about it: The city is run by an evil tyrant (Burns), and an idiot (Mayor Quimby). 90% of everyone is either corrupt, or idiotic. The nuclear plant's toxic waste is killing the environment and the people (Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish). Worst yet...nobody can ever leave! Muah-ha-ha-ha!
Designing the city of Springfield is easy. Make sure there's a school, a power plant, a quickie mart, and that the Simpsons live on 742 Evergreen Terrace, next to the Flanders, and you've got your basics. Everything else is mallable. Need a gym? There it is. Never mind that nobody's ever seen it before, it's there. What if it contradicts what's been shown? They do it all the time. No biggie. Comedy is mych easier when you can control your surroundings. So is darkness.
Making a WoD: Simpsons character is very similar to making a "regular" WoD character. Details and a character sheet follow:
A regular prelude. You come up with the character ideas, and make a little story, hitting the high points of your life, and end it with the start of the game. One of the most important elements of the prelude is how you managed to get trapped in Springfield. Recommended methods include: 1> Being born and raised there, 2> moving there at some point, or 3> Starting out as a normal human, and finding yourself transported to Springfield (a la Prisoner). This last one is lots of fun, and recommended for all you extra cruel storytellers. Of course, these aren't all the ways to get to Springfield, but that's all I could think of.
Also, at this point, you might want to get the relationship between the characters established. I'd recommend making them all a big happy family, but that's just me...
Here's where things really start getting different. The points to divy amongst your...thingies follow.
Attributes: 7/5/3
Abilities: 11/8/5
Backgrounds: 3
Virtues: 6
Free: 15
Attributes:
Once you've divided your points, it's time to discover the true horror of the game. Since all people in Simpsons are hideously grotesque and inhuman looking, subtract a point of Appeareance. Also, knock off a point from one of your three Mental attributes (Perception, Intelligence, or Wits).
Abilities:
No limit on which you can have. Pick anything, from any book. It's all there. If it has little else going for it, Springfield is truly a cross section of just about every type of person in existence. So, pick any abilities from any book, but BEWARE! Your Storyteller reserves the right to restrict any abilities he feels you shouldn't have (especially if you can't justify having it).
Backgrounds: Again, anything from any book should apply, except maybe Avatar, from Mage, and some of the Wraith stuff. Also, resources are covered under virtues, so don't worry about them. As usual, final acceptance is up to your ST.
Virtues:
Vastly different from Virtues in Vampire and Mummy, these three stats represent the biggest deviation from the game (and require feedback). As attributes, each starts with a freebie dot. They work as follows:
Job: goes in place of Resources. Everyone in Springfield has a source of income. Most are middle class. Job helps you choose you choose an occupation, and acts as an indication of how much money you make.
*: Allowance. $5-$20 a week.
**: Minimum wage after school job (all those kids in fast food joints)
***: Average middle class salary (Homer Simpson. Supports a family of five by himself. Not bad.)
****: Big bucks, but not really big bucks (Doc Hibbert, the only Doctor in town)
*****: Mega bucks! Lotsa money! You're rich! (Krusty, Burns, and Troy McClure)
Simpsonhood: This is a general indication of cartoonyness. No better explanation exists (yet) than what each level does...
*: This allows you to survive. People without one dot show up for one episode, and never again, even though logically, they should. (Zutroy, and their neighbor's daughter didn't have one dot)
**: This is a blessing and a curse. With two dots, everything remains status quo, after each episode> However, if your character dosen't have two dots, he must change something about his character, between each episode. (In early episodes, Smithers didn't have two dots, and went from black to white/wellow. Barney Gumbal didn't have two dots, and his hair changed from blonde to black. Ms Simpson had one, and her name changed from Ingrid to Jaqueline)
***: This lets you pick a unique catch phrase. Proper use of this catch phrase to add comedy to a moment gets you a point of temporary D'oh! (Homer: D'oh! Bart: Aye Carumba! Maggie:
****: This one gives characters unique perspective on life, letting them understand and utilize the fact that they are only cartoons on a tv show. (only use: Lisa in Homer Loves Flanders)
*****: The ultimate level! This allows characters to leave Springfield...and never return! Without this, characters can leave, but will always be drawn back (only possessed by an elderly couple who lived next door to the Simpsons, but moved away.)
Toasty!: The final virtue is the ability to get out of really nasty plot points. There aren't really any differences between each level, but whenever you encounter a plot point you don't want to deal with, you roll your toasty level in dice, against a difficulty level set by the Storyteller (based on how important the plot is). Two successes gets you out (Not all the players, just you). This can only be used once an episode, and costs one point of D'oh! (Homer used Toasty in The Last Temptation of Homer, as Lisa discovered that he was in love with another women, and he told her to look behind her and ran off. The plot was dropped)
D'oh!: This isn't actually a Virtue, just another name for willpower. Works just like willpower, except you can also regain a point for using your catch phrase (Simpsonshood ***) to regain a point. Also, D'oh must be spent to make a Toasty! roll. To determine starting D'oh!, roll a ten sided die.
Health levels:
So long as you have one point of Simpsonshood, you can't die. Take all the abuse you want, nothing will happen. Therefore, health levels are different. They go: Bruised, Hurt (-1), Injured (-1), Wounded (-2), Unconcious. But, remember, excessive combat isn't very amusing. And, aggravated damage is considered normal damage, I think. Aggravated damage isn't very amusing.
Points and spending: Here's how it goes:
| Freebie | Experience | |
| New Ability: | NA | 3 |
| Ability: | 2 | Rating x2 |
| D'oh!: | 1 | Rating |
| Attribute: | 5 | Rating x4 |
| Virtue: | 2 | Rating |
Merits and Flaws:
Buy them at will, but the citizens of Springfield are so second class that all characters must take at least one flaw.
I like to get my players to write a physical and personality description of their character. I think it helps them better get in touch with their characters, and makes describing them to others easier. This is heavily optional, I just like doing it.
That's pretty much it, I think. Here's a character sheet...
NAME:______________________ NATURE:___________________
CHRONICLE:_________________ DEMEANOR: ___________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
PHYSICAL SOCIAL MENTAL
Strength:* o o o o Charisma:* o o o o Perception:* o o o o
Dexterity:* o o o o Manipulation:* o o o o Intelligence:* o o o o
Stamina:* o o o o Appearance:* o o o o Wits:* o o o o
_______________________________________________________________________________
TALENTS SKILLS KNOWLEDGE
___________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o
___________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o
___________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o
___________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o
___________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o
___________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o
___________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o
___________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o __________:o o o o o
_______________________________________________________________________________
BACKGROUNDS VIRTUES HEALTH
______________o o o o o JOB: * o o o o Bruised []
______________o o o o o SIMPSONSHOOD * o o o o -1 Hurt []
______________o o o o o TOASTY! * o o o o -1 Injured []
______________o o o o o -2 Wounded []
KOed []
D'OH!
o o o o o o o o o o
Attributes: 7/5/3 Abilities: 11/8/5 Backgrounds: 3 Virtues: 6 Free: 15
I. How to be funny: This is a tough one. How do you come up with funny material? I'd suggest stealing. People like Dave lettermen and Matt Groening make loads of money my making us laugh, so they must be good at it. Besides, there's nothing wrong with a little stealing, here and there.
If you insist on making your own jokes/puns/gags/whatever, just remember the three e's: irony, idiocy, and parody. (Ironic situations, idiotic behavior, and parodies of movies, tv, the seventies, etc.)
If all else fails, just get everybody drunk.
II. How to make the Simpsons dark and tragic: Beats me. I can't even make Vampire dark and tragic. I'll think about it, and stick some ideas in the next version.
III. Story ideas: Here are some basic plots, used over and over again on the TV show. If you need a plot, just take one, and build on it...
(possibilities are endless!)
IV. Crossovers: Since Springfieldites are so much weaker than the rest of the World of Darknedd Denizens, I'd recommend keeping crossovers to a minimum. However some amusing crossovers are possible. Characters that are obviously supernatural: Homer's Brother (Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?) is obviously a Son of Ether, with his Baby translating machine. Homer's guardian angel (The Last Temptation of Homer) was probably a wraith...just be sure to use sparringly.
V. General goals: Have a good time, strive to change and grow, and be home in time to watch some TV. That's about all there is.
Welp! That's it...not much, huh? Hopefully future versions will be better...
(Feedback encouraged! Write me on the list, or at hal@seas.smu.edu)